Homer: "step aside everyone. Sensitive love letters are my specialty."
Homer's letter:
'Dear Baby,
Welcome to DumpVille.
Population : YOU!!!'
Bart: "Why the hose, Homer?
Homer: "What does it look like? I'll get our letter so wet the ink will run and no one will be able to read it."
Bart: "Yeah, but don't other people have mail in there?"
Homer: "So a few people won't get a few letters, boo hoo. You know the kind of letters people write!
Dear somebody you never heard of, how is so and so? Blah blah blah blah blah.
Your's truly, Some Bozo.
Big Loss!!"
Bart & Lisa: "Dad, we did something we shouldn't have."
Homer: "Did you wreck the car?"
Bart & Lisa: "No."
Homer: "Did you raise the dead?"
Bart & Lisa: "YES !!!"
Homer: "But the car's all right?"
Bart & Lisa: "Uh huh..."
Homer: "Okay."
Lisa: "Boy, mom sure will be happy you won 50 dollars."
Homer : "You'd think that wouldn't you? But you see, Lisa, your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's OK in the bible."
Lisa: "Really? Where?"
Homer: "Uhh...somewhere in the back."
Homer: "Oh Lisa, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire. Beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that.....building.......thingy, where our beds and tv.................is."
Marge: "I have nothing to say to you, Homer."
Homer: "But Marge, I was a political prisoner."
Marge: "HOW where you a political prisoner?"
Homer: "I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a diagram?"
Homer: "Will you all stop worrying about that stupid comet? It's going to be destroyed. Didn't you hear what that guy in the building said?"
Lisa: "But dad, don't you think..."
Homer: "Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rain forest scare a few years back. Our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?"
Lisa: "No, Dad, I don't think..."
Homer: "There's that word again!"
Homer: "When will you people learn? In America we stopped using corporal punishment and things have never been better. The streets are safe, old people strut confidently trough the darkest alleys and the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free. Because, as the old saying goes, let your children run wild and free." v
Homer: "All right, brain. I don't like you and you don't like me. So just get me trough this exam and I can go back killing you slowly with beer."
Homer's brain: "DEAL !"
Homer: "Kids, let me tell you about another so-called 'wicked' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was...
I forgot.
But the point is...
I forgot.
Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car."
Homer: "The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isocoleces triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side."
Some Jerk: "That's a RIGHT triangle, you idiot."
Homer: "DOOOHHH!!!!"
Homer:" Ohhhhhhhhh, ya better not slouch, you better get fries, 'cuz if you don't I'm telling you why, Da-da-da's becoming....a clown. DOOHH!!!"
-If they can send a man to the moon, why can't they make my shoes smell good?
-Are you really the oldest person in the world?
-Bart! What did you write on the back of my head?
-Operator. What's the number for 911?
-Lennie, can you get this sugar daddie off my back?
- Mmmm... urinal fresh
- Mmmm...elephant fresh
- Mmmm...soylent green
- Mmmm...crumbled-up cookie things
- Mmm...donuts
- Mmmm...reprocessed pig fat
Homer: "Aww... 20 dollars? I wanted a peanut!"
Homer's brain: "20 dollars can buy many peanuts!"
Homer: "Explain how!"
Homer's brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services!"
Homer: "Woo hoo!"
Homer: "When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie -- spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy."
Marge: "Homer, did you call the audience chickens?"
Homer: "No, Marge! I swear on this bible!"
Marge: "That's not a bible. That's a book of carpet samples."
Homer: "Mmmm...fuzzy"
(Homer is looking on a set of cards with nude deck "The girls of the Internet")
Homer: "Ooh, I'd go online with them anyday!"
Homer (praying): "Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever...thy will be done." (munch munch munch)
Homer: "If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."
Apu : "Howdy neighbour! May I spray you with the hose in a playful fashion?"
Homer: "Uhhh...spray the boy."
Homer: "Rock stars...is there anything they DON'T know?"
Homer: "What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up here, anyway."
Homer: "To find Flanders, I have to think like Flanders."
Homer's brain : "I'm a big four-eyed lame-o! And I wear the same stupid sweater every day and..."
Homer: "The Springfield River!"
Homer : "Kill my boss?!? Do I dare live out the american dream?"
Homer : "Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!"
"My baloney has a first name, its h-o-m-e-r,
My baloney has a second name, its h-o-m-e-r..."
Homer : "Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh..."
Homer : "Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer."
Homer : "Come, to Homercles."
Homer & Bart : "I saw the spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball..."
Marge : "If you don't mind!?!, we're on our way to a funeral."
Homer : "Ding Dong, the witch is dead..."
Bart : "Which old witch?"
Homer : "The wicked witch!"
Homer : "D'oh!"
Lisa : "A deer!"
Marge : "A female deer!"
(Ned, his boy, Homer, and Bart, are stranded in the middle of the ocean in their raft. They've been there for days, and Flanders has been cool calm and collective the whole time.....then he loses it)
Ned : "We're done for! We're done-diddly-done-for! We're Done-diddly-doodly-done-diddly-doodly done-diddly-doodly"
Homer : (Slapping Ned from left to right) "Flanders! Get a Hold of Yourself!"
(He stops slapping for a moment, Ned has calmed down)
Ned : "Thanks, Homer....I really..."
(Homer begins slapping him again)
Bart : "Dad! I think he gets the point!"
Homer : "(Slap) Better (Slap) To be (Slap) Safe (Slap) Than (Slap) Sorry (Slap)........sorry."
Ned : "diddly (Slap)"
Homer : "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
(Homer sleepily defending his sugar, in a Hispanic-accented voice, paraphrased)
Homer : "In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women."
Homer: "Ah, Andy Capp, you wife beating drunk!"
Homer : "Mm...Mm...Mm...mMMm...Mmmm...Forbidden donut"
[Homer eating last piece of donut, just as Devil Flanders appears]
Devil Flanders : "Well, Well! Finishing something?"
Homer : "AHHHH!"
Devil Flanders : "Alright Simpson, you get your soul back... but let that ill-gotten donut be forever on your head!"
Homer : "AHHHH!"
[Sounds of Homer greedily eating bits of his donut head]
Marge : "Homer, stop picking at it!"
Homer : "Aww...but I'm so sweet and tasty! Oh well, time to go to work."
Devil Flanders : "Now remember, at the instant that you finish it I own your soul for..."
[Just before the last piece of donut disapears down Homer's throat]
Homer : "Hey, wait! If I don't finish this last bite, you don't get my soul, do you?"
Devil Flanders : "Uh, technically no, but..."
Homer : "I'm smarter than the devil! I'm smarter than the dev..."
Devil Flanders : "YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL YET, HOMER SIMPSON!"
[Devil departs]
Homer : "Not likely, heh heh!"
[Homer Writing an I.O.U. note...to himself!]
"Dear Homer, I owe you one emergency donut, signed Homer." "Bastard!, [Crushes note] he's always one step ahead!"
Zombie Flanders : "Hey Simpson! I'm feeling a mite peckish, mind if I chew your EAR?"
[Homer kills Zombie Flanders]
Bart : "Dad! You killed the Zombie Flanders!"
Homer : "He was a Zombie?"
Homer : "Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!"
Bart : "Good morning, Father dear! Hope your well."
Lisa : "Are we taking the new ?Lexus? to Aunt Patty and Selma's funeral today?"
Homer : "Hmm...Fabulous house...Well-behaved kids...Sisters-in-law dead...Luxury Sedan...WOOHOO! I hit the jackpot! Marge dear, would you kindly pass me a donut?"
Marge : "Donut? What's a donut?"
Homer : "AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH!"
[Sounds of Homer making a furious time-travel exit]
Homer : "I don't want anyone giving her a hard time just because she's DIFFERENT!...No jokes...No taunting..."
[Homer spots Uter]
Homer : "AHH! HOO! HOO! Look, that kids got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel? Heh Heh!"
[Whip crack of towel]
Homer : "Come're Butterball!"
[Uter wails in torment]
Uter : "Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!"
Marge : "Now Homer, don't you eat this pie..."
Homer : "O-kay"
[Marge leaves]
Homer : "Alright pie, I'm just gonna do this...!"
[Opens and closes his mouth in an eating fashion]
Homer : "...and if you get eaten, its your own fault!"
[Heads towards pie, but collides into something solid]
Homer : "Owwww! OWWWW! OWW...My...Ah, the hell with it!"
[Ergo, pie is eaten]
Homer : "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers...
Announcer : "17"
Homer : "D'OH!"
Announcer : "32"
Homer : "D'OH!"
Announcer : "5"
Homer : "D'OH!"
Announcer : "8"
Homer : "WOOHOO!"
Announcer : "47"
Homer : "D'OH!"
Lisa : "Dad, we did something very BAD!"
Homer : "Did you wreck the car?"
Bart : "No."
Homer : "Did you raise the dead?"
Lisa : "Yes!"
Homer : "But the car's OK?"
Bart & Lisa : "Uh-huh."
Homer : "Alright then."
Someone : "Take this object, but beware! It carries a terrible curse..."
Homer : "Ooh, that's bad!"
Someone : "...but it comes with a free frogurt..."
Homer : "That's good!"
Someone : "...the frogurt is also cursed..."
Homer : "That's bad!"
Someone : "...but you get your choice of topping..."
Homer : "That's good!"
Someone : "The toppings contain potassium benzoate..."
[Silence]
Someone : "That's bad!"
Homer : "Can I go now?"
Homer : "You don't know what its like, I'm the one out there everyday putting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the Truth? You want the TRUTH?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Because when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, that was your best friend's face, you don't know what to do! FORGET IT MARGE! ITS CHINATOWN!"
Homer : "Ahh, Beer! My one weakness...my Achilles Heel, if you will..."
Simple Song
Homer : "Call Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again, is Mr. Plow!"
"Hello? Operator! Give me the number for 911!"
Homer : "Blame the guy who doesn't speak Engish."
"Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family."
Homer (looking up at the living room ceiling): "God, why do you mock me?"
Marge : "That's not God, that's a waffle that Bart threw on the ceiling."
Homer (eats waffle): "Mmmm...Sacrelicious!"
"Can you believe it!? Pretty soon, I'll be able to quit my job and live off the boy!"
Homer : "Quiet, I can't hear myself think."
Brain : "I want some peanuts."
Homer : "That's better."
After foraging in the couch...
Homer: "Twenty dollars? Aww, I wanted a peanut!"
Brain: "$20 can buy many peanuts."
Homer: "Explain how!"
Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."
Homer: "Whoo-hoo!"
This is the Father son relationship test episode where bart builds the soapbox derby race car with his father as 'team simpson.'
Homer: "D'oh, how can I get bart to do things with me."
Brain: "why not try reverse psychology."
Homer: "That won't ever work."
Brain: "O.K. don't try reverse psychology."
Homer: "Y'all right, I WILL try reverse psychology."
Homer wrecks his car and has to explain it to the insurance guy.
Insurance Guy : "O.K, now before I give you the check, I have just one more question. That place Moe's you were coming back from, that is a buisness of some sort..."
Homer Brain : "Don't say you were at a bar. BUT what else is open at night."
Homer : "I was at a pornography store, I was buying pornography."
Homer Brain : "Hehe, I would a never thought of that."
"You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?"
"Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."
TV : "First, we take a delicious bar of chocolate.."
Homer : [In a trance] "Chocolate..!!"
TV : "Then we wrap it in caramel (sp?).."
Homer : "Oooohh, sweeeet!"
TV : "And finally, we dip it in rich, creamery butter".
Homer : "AAarhrhghlll..." [His head drops back, and he drools]
Much later
Lisa : "A subliminal idea can be planted in your mind without you even knowing it."
Homer : "Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter."
Homer: "Be quiet, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip"
When The Simpsons are being changed to the Thompsons...
[Homer can't understand he is now Mr Thompson:]
Agent: "Now when I say `Hello Mr. Thompson' and press down on your foot, you smile and nod"
Homer: "No problem."
Agent: "Hello Mr. Thompson (and presses Homer's foot)"
[Homer has a blank stare, and then looks at other agent and whispers loudly]
Homer : "I think he's talking to you"
Homer : "Sir? Ah, hello sir! Yes! You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife, so..."
[Sound of Homer recieving a massive smack]
Homer once said to Bart...
"If something is too hard,give it up. The moral my boy is too never try anything"
In the episode when Homer saves Springfield from the runaway monorail.
Homer : "AHHH. Donuts. . . What can't they do."
When Bart tries to ask Homer to give him some money to buy the first issue of "Radioactive Man"
Homer : "A hundred bucks for a comic book? Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo?"
Homer :(on way out of office) That dirty dean!! I'll get him
[Homer leaves and Dean's phone rings]
Dean : Hello
Homer : [In ridiculous but hilarious voice] Hello Dean, you are a stupid head
Dean : Is that you Homer?
[Dean then sees Homer at the pay phone, Homer shrieks and runs away]
[Homer is talking to a lady from Big Buddies]
Lady : "So why do you want to become a Big Buddy?"
Homer's Brain : "Don't say revenge! Don't say revenge!
Homer : "Umm, revenge."
Homer's Brain : "I'm getting outta here."
[Sound of chair scraping on floor, footsteps, and door opening and closing]
Homer: "The other day I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers."
[Homer and Marge are talking about how Maggie was born.]
Bart : "Wow, Dad! You had a breakdown like a little sissy girl?"
Marge : "Actually, it isn't the first time this happened."
[Flashback, with Marge & Homer]
Homer : "You're Pregnant?! Aaaaaauuuggghhhh!"
[Tears out hair a bit and runs upstairs]
[Second Flashback, with Bart and the two]
Homer : "You're pregnant AGAIN?!?! Aaaaaaaaauuuugggghhhh!"
[Tears out hair until it looks like it does now, and runs upstairs]
Homer and Marge discuss about Grampa having a crush on Grandma Bouvier.
Marge : "Homer, what do you think about this?"
Homer : "I'm damn opposed with the whole thing."
Bart : "He's damn opposed. DAMN DAMN DAMN opposed!"
Marge : "Bart! Homer- why would you be opposed with love?"
Homer : "Marge- THINK! If my dad and your mom get married, we'll be brother and sister! Think what will the children will be like! The'll be freaks! They'll have flesh-colored skin, diffrent colored hair and five fingers on each hand!"
[Homer fantasizes the kids as what Homer described]
Homer: "Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuugggggghhhhhhh!!!!!"
[Homer runs out of the room]
"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, its that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling foxy boxy and such and such..."
[Homer meets flanders for the first time...]
Flanders : "Hedelyhoo there, My name is Ned Flanders ... but my friends call me Ned."
Homer : "Hiya Flanders."
[Homer walks away ...]
[Homer looking at globe, spots Uruguay]
Homer : "Ha ha! Look at this country! 'You are gay'! Ha ha!"
The episode where Bart mistakenly sent a letter to Mr. Burns and Homer is at the Post Office posing as Mr. Burns in order to get it...
Homer : [In a silly voice] "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I'm here to pick up a letter."
Postal Worker : "Your first name?"
Homer : [In silly voice] "I don't know."
The episode where Marge has forced Homer and the rest of the family to go vegetarian...
Homer : "Ohh.. How come the dog gets to eat meat?"
Marge : "Homer, that dog food's mostly made out of snouts and entrails."
Homer [drooling] : "Mmmmmm... snouts."
This is from the episode where Bart gives blood to Mr. Burns. Homer is trying to convince Bart to go through with the blood donation.
Homer : "Bart, have I ever told you the story of Hercules and the Lion?"
Bart : "Is it a Bible story?"
Homer : "Probably. Anyway, once upon a time there was a big mean lion, and he got a thorn in his paw. All the villagers tried to pull it out, but none of them were strong enough. So they got Hercules, and he used his mighty strength and BOOM! Anyway, the lion was so grateful to Hercules that he gave him a big...thing of riches."
Bart : "How did a lion get rich?"
Homer : "It was the olden days! Anyway..."
Homer : "Moe, my friend has this problem with another woman and he needs some advice."
Moe : "What's his name Homer?"
Homer : "Uh, it's Billy Bo-Bob Jimmy Jo-Jo Jr."
Moe : "Homer, that's the stupidest name I ever heard."
[Man runs out of the bar crying]
[Homer is Sleeping in His Bed]
Lisa : [Off Screen] "Dad! [Comes Running on screen] I had a Bad Dream!"
Homer : [In A Comforting Voice] "Oh, Lisa. You just lay down and tell me all about it."
Lisa : "I know this seems absurd, but I was dreaming that the boogieman was chasing me and..."
Homer: "AUGH! Boogieman!"
[Runs to Bart's Room, and goes close to Bart]
Homer : "Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but we may have an ordeal involving a Boogieman or BoogieMEN in the house!" Bart : "Aaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuugggggghhhh!!!"
What about when Homer's building the car for his half brother.
Homer : "What about those red balls they have on car aerials so you can spot your car in a park. I think all cars should have them!"
[Marge's aunt has died and they are going to funeral]
Selma : "Its the death of a legend."
Homer's Brain: "Yeah! The Legend of the dog-faced woman!"
Homer : [Out loud] "Ha Ha! The Legend of the dog-faced woman!"
[The Car Falls into shocked silence]
Marge : "Homer!"
Homer : "Stupid Brain."
Marge : "Homer I want to talk to you about this credit card bill..."
Homer : [Falls to floor screaming and crying] "I admit it! The record club! The first eight were only a penny...then they jacked up the price!..."
[Episode where Marge tracks down Homer to the power plant]
Lenny : "Where are you going ?"
Homer : [Triumphantly carrying Marge] "I'm going to the back seat of my car! And I wont be back for TEN MINUTES!"
[Episode where Bart is a baby]
[Homer is returning home from work...]
Homer : [Singing cheerfully] "When the working day is done..girls just wanna have fun!"
Marge : "Homer, It's funny but I've noticed that my mum and your dad are very lonely."
Homer : "Heh Heh! That is Funny!"
Marge : "They need to spend time together..."
Homer : "Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful nutrients can be obtained from them..."
Marge : "Stop reading that Ross Perot pamphlet and go to sleep."
[In the episode where George Bush moves in next door... Santa's Little Helper is chasing the Bushes down the street.]
Homer : "Looks like he's barking up the wrong Bush! Heh heh!"
Homer's Brain : "Good job Homer, the cleverest thing you'll ever say and no-one was around to hear it."
Homer : "D'oh!"
[Episode where Marge tries to get the family a membership in a ritzy country club.]
Mr. Burns : "Quit cogitating Steinmetz and use an open faced club, A sand wedge."
Homer : "Mmmm, open faced club sand wedge."
[Upon meeting a representative from Reader's Digest]
Homer : "Ooh, I love your magazine. Especially the 'Enrich Your Wordpower' section. I think it's really...really... really...good."
[This was said on a long distance collect call service for "1-800-call-collect", in which Homer is seen gazing out across the Grand Canyon, and decides to call home to share the experience with his family by making a reverse charge call.]
Homer : "Ah!, the Grand Canyon. What a ... grand canyon!"
[Marge decides to join the police force]
[She's walking down the street noticing minor crimes when A car parks across three spaces. Homer gets out of the car...]
Marge : "Homer! Move that car at once!"
Homer : "It's okay Marge, I'm only going to buy some beer for those kids over there."
Marge : "Move that car at once!"
Homer : [Steals Marges' police hat and puts it on] "Ohh, I'm officer Marge la de da de da, what are you gonna do?"
Marge : [Handcuffs Homer] "You have the right to remain silent..."
Homer : "I choose to waver that right WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
[From the episode where the school goes on strike, Homer giving Lisa sage-like advice...]
Homer : "In this house, young lady, we obey the laws of " thermodynamics!"
Homer : "I gave my love a chicken, it had no bones. Mmmmm Chicken!"
[Homer looking at globe, spots Uruguay]
Homer: "Ha ha! Look at this country! 'You are gay'! Ha ha!"
Marge : "What would you like for dinner Homer?"
Homer : "Steak!"
Marge : "Our Budget is too tight! What else would you like?"
Homer : "Steak!"
[Homer is at the table with the family]
Homer : "Anyhow, last night we're playing poker right, and as usual I'm winning and not realizing it. And Lenny says that I'm, get this [he laughs hysterically], a little slow!"
[More hysterical laughter but no one at the table is laughing]
Homer : "How come you're not laughing. Do you think I'm slow?"
Bart : "Uh..."
Lisa : "Uh..."
Maggie : [Sound of her sucking on her pacifier]
Marge : "Hmmm, We don't think you're slow, but on the other hand it's not like you go to museums or read books or anything"
Homer : "It's not that I don't want to, It's those TV networks Marge they won't let me. One quality show after another each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves. But they won't , they won't let me live..."
[Cries like a baby]
Homer : "Oh who am I kidding, I am slow"
Marge : "Oh Homey, If you feel so bad about yourself there's always things you can do to make you feel better"
Homer : "Like take another bath in malt liquor?"
Marge : "There's that, or you can take an adult education course"
Homer : "Oh, and how is education supposed to make me feel smarter. Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive?"
Marge : "That's because you were drunk"
Homer : "[Contentedly] And how!"
Okay here's one: episode where Marge becomes a police officer
Homer: "When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought that it would be fun and zany like that movie 'Spaceballs'. But instead it was dark and disturbing like that movie 'Police Academy'"
Here's a quote from the episode were Homer has his own religion.
Homer : "What's the meaning of life?"
God : "Sorry, you have to wait until you die."
Homer : "But I can't wait that long."
God : "You can't wait 3 months?"
Homer : "No!!"
God : "Oh OK.. The meaning of life is...[Simpson music!]"
[Homer talking to Sideshow Bob, discussing what sort of appetizer to serve at Bob & Selma's wedding]
Homer : "Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail weenies - they come wrapped in this tasty little package and are served with a delicious red sauce: it looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, BUT BROTHER, IT AIN'T KETCHUP!"
[Lisa at work with Homer - Homer and Lisa looking for snacks]
Lisa : "Dad do you have any fruit?"
Homer : "This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit."
Homer : "So Lisa your not going to eat any meat anymore, not even bacon?"
LIsa : "No"
Homer : "Ham?"
Lisa : "No"
Homer : "Pork chops"
LIsa : "Dad those all come from the same animal"
Homer : [Condescending] "Yes Lisa, A special magical animal from fairy land!"
(The Witness Relocation Episode)
WRL Guy : "Here's is a few places we've got in mind for you. Terror Lake, Cape Fear, Screamville
Homer : [Giddily] "Oh, Ice creamville"
WRL Guy : "No Screamville"
Homer : "Ahhhhhhhhhhh" [in that terrrified scream he has]
(The episode with the "Marriage Retreat Weekend")
Marge : "Homer we never have parties"
Homer : "What about that huge one, you know with champagne, a band, a lot of holy men or somehting."
Marge : "Homer that was our wedding"